Use It Or Lose It
Every month or two, I have dinner with a group of high school friends. Girl’s Night Out has been a regular occurrence on my calendar for decades. We used to talk about jobs, spouses, kids, struggles, and there were always humorous episodes to get us giggling. These days we still laugh over goofy stories, and update each other on our growing families, but the conversation inevitably turns to health. At our last dinner, a friend demonstrated to me an exercise to help with sciatica. It was a casual restaurant and we didn’t feel at all uncomfortable standing, bending over our legs and stretching. It was important.
At this stage of life, we can’t take strong bodies and healthy minds for granted and the phrase use it or lose it takes on new meaning. If we don’t want to lose it, we must use it by getting back to some basics, boring as that sounds.
My 91-year-old mother who has difficulty getting around and has macular degeneration laments, There’s not much I can do – why am I still here? She also says, often, that her mother told her to keep laughing, which was very good advice. She may have lost physical ability, but her mind is still sharp, and she uses it. I trust she won’t lose it. My 92-year-old father is slowing down, but he’s still doing much of what he has always done. My parents love each other, neither one of them wants to leave the other, and my admiration for them is growing in their later years.
As I watch the health of my parents decline, I am more determined to enjoy life, laugh, and continue to use the gifts God has given me every day that he grants me, even if my body weakens. I trust that I will feel and express great love for my family and friends as my parents have modeled for me.
No one gets it perfectly right, but we can learn and adjust as we age. Who has modeled healthy living to you? Have you found the phrase use it or lose it to be more impactful lately, as I have? Is there a new practice you’ve added to your life to help you stay active?
In this month’s Sage Forum newsletter, contributor Carole Duff shares some thoughts to help us confront the reality of aging bodies and encourage us with some basics that will help us use what we’ve been given and minimize losing our healthy bodies and minds. We’ve got some additional reads about navigating the changes we’re experiencing with wisdom, plus a great roundup of media picks from our contributors.
With gratitude,
Judy Allen for the Sage Forum team
Caring for our Aging Bodies and Minds
by Carole Duff
The young nursing assistant called my name, smiled, and beckoned me down the hall. “Hang up your purse, slip off your shoes, and step on the scale.” While she recorded my weight, I noted the ten extra pounds I’d carried since menopause. “Turn around so I can get your height.” I stood tall, knowing full well I was no longer 5 feet 4 and 3/4 inches. After taking my temperature, the nursing assistant led me into an examination room and took my blood pressure. A little high, likely because I was a bit anxious, and because arteries get stiffer with age.
When my primary care physician—a middle-aged nurse practitioner—entered the room, I pulled out my notepad and ran a pen down the checklist I’d made. Annual eye and biannual dental checkups all good, managing hearing loss without aid, annual skin check will address spot hairdresser noticed on the crown of my head, arthritis in fingers (treated with steroid injections), left foot, and right hip, sciatica (managed by increased stretching), bone density and osteopenia stable. Due for basic metabolic panel and heart disease blood test, including cholesterol? Mammogram? Colonoscopy? Despite longevity, my family’s medical history includes heart disease, type 2 diabetes, breast and colon cancer, stroke, dementia, anxiety and depression.
*****
Aging is a sign of God’s blessings and favor but can also bring feelings of uselessness, abandonment, and futility. A fearful psalmist wrote, “Do not cast me away when I am old; do not forsake me when my strength is gone” (Ps. 71:9) and pleaded for purpose, “Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, my God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your mighty acts to all who are to come.” (Ps. 71:18). Our trust in the LORD can grow with assurances such as this: “Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.” (Is. 46:4).
While faith sustains, there are also practical things we can do to take care of ourselves as we age:
Maintain nutritious eating and restful sleeping habits.
Establish a regular routine of physical activity—stretching, strength training and aerobic exercise—for healthier blood pressure and cholesterol levels, lowered risk of heart disease, diabetes, dementia, and a healthy body weight.
Schedule annual well-women exams, the cornerstone of preventative care, to screen for blood pressure, cholesterol levels, diabetes, breast cancer and osteoporosis. Also schedule regular dental and eye checkups, vaccinations, and colorectal cancer screening.
Develop a heightened awareness of depression and/or anxiety symptoms.
Balance solitude (what I call my God time) and fellowship, family time and purpose—what brings joy and makes you feel alive—routine and deliberately trying new things.
Starting these habits early can put us in a good position to stay healthy later. Certainly, earlier is better than later, but later is better than never. It’s never too late to make lifestyle changes to improve diet and fitness. Also, if you are a caretaker—and this is very important because many in this stage of life are—remember to put your health needs first.
*****
The nurse practitioner typed notes into my medical record and handed me a Medicare health assessment form to fill out. Rate overall health, social activities, exercise. Concerned about falling, depression, alcohol consumption, cognition? Draw numbers and hands on a blank clock face to show 11:10. After I handed the form back to my physician, she asked me more questions about depression. Was I feeling down, tired, lacking energy, interest, or pleasure in doing things?
“Well, my stamina is not what is used to be, and I’m not as quick on my feet,” I said. “When my husband and I observed our parents’ aging, we promised to monitor each other’s diet, driving, memory, and health issues that developed as we aged. But feeling down?” I shook my head. “Oh my, no.” I spoke about involvement in church and Bible study, tending our mountain house and yard, cooking, walking the dogs down the road to the mailbox—2 miles round trip—and watching over neighbors.
“My husband’s science fiction novel came out in August,” I said, “so we’re doing a lot of marketing together, and my memoir comes out this summer.”
“That’s great! What’s your book about?”
“The third stage of life, about hard-earned wisdom.”
My care physician looked up from typing and cocked her head. “Wisdom, that’s a gift of aging.” I smiled and nodded.
“Let’s take your blood pressure again,” she said at the end of my appointment. I put my notepad and pen in my purse and held out my arm. Puff-puff-puff, hiss…. “Almost normal. I’m not worried.”
And, after a quick prayer of gratitude, neither was I.
Additional reads about understanding and honoring our changing bodies
Good Aging: A Christian Perspective
A look at how each system in the body changes as we age
The spiritual side of aging across cultures and faiths
Self-Care and The Christian’s Body
May Media Picks From The Sage Team
[BOOK] The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity by Julia Cameron. This book has been on my shelf, half read, for 20 years, and I finally competed it and processed it with a group. It’s a helpful book to inspire the inner artist in every one of us. (JA)
[VIDEO–Netflix] The Miracle Club. Four Irish women make a pilgrimage to Lourdes in search of healing. No sex and no violence. Just a terrific story and amazing character development. (DG)
[BOOK] The Art of Living in Season: A Year of Reflections for Everyday Saints by Silvie Vanhoozer. Vanhoozer's book is both down-to-earth, quite literally as she includes her beautiful botanical art, and profound, as it takes us through the church calendar and natural seasons with santons, miniature clay figurines bringing gifts to Jesus, who guide the way. We are all everyday saints and we have gifts to bring wherever we are, whatever we are doing, and at any stage of life. (JA)
[VIDEO–Hulu] We Were The Lucky Ones chronicles the lives of a Jewish family during WWII. The story shows how Jews survived during this time in labor camps, ghettos, and in exile. Not an easy watch but it is very well researched and produced. (SF)
[BOOK] The Women: A Novel by Kristin Hannah. Another excellent historical fiction novel by Hannah about the women who served in Vietnam without acknowledgment or appreciation from anyone but the soldiers that they served. (JA)
[VIDEO-Amazon Prime] The Baxters is a series that tells the ups and downs of a contemporary Christian family. Roma Downey stars. I appreciate that it does not sugarcoat life and does not imply that if you follow Christ, you won't experience any problems. I also like that it shows a family often turning to prayer. (SF)
[PODCAST] Serial-Season 4. This award-winning podcast series focuses this season on Guantanamo, which first opened as a temporary prisoner detention camp on the U.S. base in Cuba after 9/11. The stories of prisoners, guards, and staff in their own words make this compelling, educational listening for those who care about justice issues. (MV)
What are you reading, watching, and/or listening to this month?
We are always looking for submissions from our readers for our mid-month reflections. If you have a short piece to share, click here to email it to us for consideration.
Sample the wisdom of our team of contributors at our YouTube channel.
Next month’s Sage Forum newsletter topic: Trauma. Trauma take many different forms - physical, religious, emotional. It can enter our lives through a one-time event, or from living in an ongoing abusive relationship or environment. If you have a trusted resource you’d like to suggest that we can share with our readers, please email us.
Prayer for the Grace to Age Well
When the signs of age begin to mark my body
(and still more when they touch my mind);
when the ill that is to diminish me or carry me off
strikes from without or is born within me;
when the painful moment comes
in which I suddenly awaken
to the fact that I am ill or growing old;
and above all at that last moment
when I feel I am losing hold of myself
and am absolutely passive within the hands
of the great unknown forces that have formed me;
in all those dark moments, O God,
grant that I may understand that it is you
(provided only my faith is strong enough)
who are painfully parting the fibers of my being
in order to penetrate to the very marrow
of my substance and bear me away within yourself.
- Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, S.J.
Photos by Kelly Sikkema, freestocks, hristina @ wocintechchat.com on Unsplash
Beautiful!
"Use it or lose it" has a special meaning to me because I pray every day (as I'm putting on the whole armor of God) that I'm thankful for all the internal and external gifts He's blessed me with but don't want to hoard them for myself. I ask Him to help me wisely invest them back into His kingdom somehow, that His will be done through me in whatever sphere of influence He gives me in the same way that it is in Heaven.