What Do You Say?

The mission of The Sage Forum is to encourage, equip, and empower women over 40 to mature in faith and grow in wisdom. We send out a newsletter at the beginning of each month focusing on a different theme relevant to women in the second half of life.

Today’s Sage Forum Extra! is a short mid-month reflection meant to offer you a word of encouragement. Today’s Extra! is penned by Sage Forum friend Judy Douglass. Learn more about Judy by visiting her website.

Remember when your mom or dad gave you a cookie, or helped you with a project, or fixed a birthday meal: They always waited a moment, and then said, “What do you say?”

Remember doing the same with your children, or grandchildren? Or nieces or nephews? Or kids in a class you taught?

We all needed it and we all did it. We recognized the importance of saying “thank you,” of giving thanks. And we understood that it didn’t come naturally; it took reminders and practice.

This was true in every season of our lives, and especially now in these later decades that include transition, confusion, and loss.

Over many years I have learned, increasingly, that gratitude is one of the most important values and practices for my life.

Some things are easy to be thankful for: loving relationships within your family, a job you enjoy, financial stability, continuing good health, faithful friends….

But with other realities — family tensions, hurtful memories, loss of a loved one, loneliness — life can be so challenging, making it difficult to be thankful.

Probably the most important practice I have learned — and cultivated — is learning to say “thank you” to my family, coworkers, friends, neighbors, service people, and others. Gratitude has become my “forward foot” in most circumstances. It’s helpful for me as well as for those that I thank.

Gratitude has been a key part of my relationship with God, spurred on by the Bible’s principle of giving thanks in everything. I have learned that this practice contributes greatly to a life of peace, joy, and hope.

Here are some ways to grow in gratitude:

Remember: List some good things in your life every day. Also be thankful for the hard situations that make you stronger, the times you cried and how God rescued or changed you, and the ways that he has been with you every step of the way.

Read: Find stories of people helping people, including those in your own family history. Read examples in the Bible about people being thankful, about encouragements to be thankful, and about the blessings that come with gratitude.

Reflect:  Recall when God has been good to you. This can help you to say, “Thank you, Lord,” in even the most painful situations. It is a way to remind yourself that God is good and wise, working in ways you may not see or understand.

Repeat: The most important way to cultivate a grateful heart is to practice. Do this over and over, in every situation, in your family…with everyone. Be intentional about learning to say “thank you” for all the good that surrounds you.

And in ways I don’t fully understand, saying “thank you,” especially to God, begins to open doors. It's as if those words said in hesitant trust give God a key to us, to our hearts and minds. With that key he unlocks doors shut by our pain, our anger, our fear, our resistance. We begin to get glimpses of answers to our prayers, of more steps forward than backward, of new attitudes, and occasionally, of outright transformation.

So this is my heartfelt encouragement to make these years truly be your best years: Give thanks.

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Excerpted from Beyond: Create a Life You Love After 50, 60, 70, & More.

Judy Douglass is an author, speaker, and podcaster. For 20 years she partnered with her husband Steve to lead Campus Crusade for Christ/Cru. She is known for her realness and is one of the co-authors of Beyond: Create a Life You Love After 50, 60, 70, and More.