What began as a mentoring relationship with a much younger woman has become the friendship I’ve always longed for. I'm a deeply spiritual Jesus Freak, and my singular focus and intensity has made people uncomfortable when they get to know me. I've had to mask it to fit in. But this woman likes me for exactly those qualities, and her friendship has given me the freedom to be my authentic self for maybe the first time ever. Her friendship has given me the courage to be more authentic and not so wary of the reactions I might get when I share in other settings. I've always been the listener in my friendships, and it's been freeing to see the other side.
This is a beautiful story. As the power differential between mentor and mentee has diminished, a really meaningful friendship is growing, and strengthening you in your other relationships.
I’m astonished whenever I stop to notice that during this season of life when I imagined that I would have more time for friendship, I simply don’t make time to reach out.
And I just finished reading Luci Shaw’s new poetry collection Reversing Entropy, which was lyrical and lovely as usual.
Yes, it is surprising to discover that we can get very busy without realizing it during a time when it seems like there would be more space for friendships. Thanks for pointing this out. Also, Luci is the bomb! :)
I enjoyed your articles. I think men find it much more difficult to foster both old and new friendships. We do have to nurture our friendships and there is generally one that takes the lead in reaching out and touching base more than the other.
I live alone with my dog in the woods in Alaska. I’m about 25 miles from a small town and as an introvert I like that I don’t see a lot of people. For most of the winter I was only going into town on Sundays to go to my very small church and do a little shopping. I have a group of friends in Anchorage who meet for lunch and prayer weekly and I often join them by zoom. I have three other friends who I talk to frequently, a least one person every day, so I thought I had plenty of community.
A couple of months ago I was invited to attend a Bible study in town. I had a whole handful of excuses ready, but God was clear that this was something from him - a gift for me. I am enjoying it so much! They are a wonderful group of women, prayerful and concerned about our community, but never a word of gossip. The Bible study is digging into the attributes of God - no fluff, which I have very little patience for. They welcome differing opinions and open discussion. This has been such a blessing that I didn’t know I needed and didn’t think I wanted.
Your life sounds so interesting. You are probably enjoying lots and lots of sunlight and LONG days at this time of year.
I commend you for choosing to take a step and join that Bible study. So glad you're enjoying it and finding blessing in a thing you didn't know you needed and didn't think you wanted. What a good surprise!
The people in my life right now are all over the world. So it is not often we see each other and I do long for someone close by that I can have a cup of coffee with. But it is a season of leaning in and on the Lord more and more. He does fill me and also will send an encouraging note,email or phone call from a dear friend when I REALLY need one.
There is a gift in those connections that endure despite time and place, and for the constancy of the Lord's presence anywhere we are. Embodied ongoing relationships - someone with whom to share a cup of coffee - offer us a different kind of support in our lives.
The churches I have always attended (and even been on staff for) are very conservative, but aren't real friendly to our current life situation--both of our adult kids are transgender. The church folk aren't quite sure what to do with us now, since we have decided to use the kid's new names and genders and love and support them openly. So, even after things started back full swing after the COVID lockdowns, church-related small groups didn't work for us. The churches themselves didn't really work for us, in fact.
And now, we are leaving all we've ever known to become global nomads, so unless we find some online group, we won't really be part of anything consistent. We do miss that, but don't really see a solution. We try to meet people and form little bits of community wherever we go, but it is always temporary.
I'm so sorry for what your family has experienced from your church. And while you're launching out on a very big adventure, I'm glad your kids will be waiting for you when you return. Sending a hug.
What began as a mentoring relationship with a much younger woman has become the friendship I’ve always longed for. I'm a deeply spiritual Jesus Freak, and my singular focus and intensity has made people uncomfortable when they get to know me. I've had to mask it to fit in. But this woman likes me for exactly those qualities, and her friendship has given me the freedom to be my authentic self for maybe the first time ever. Her friendship has given me the courage to be more authentic and not so wary of the reactions I might get when I share in other settings. I've always been the listener in my friendships, and it's been freeing to see the other side.
This is a beautiful story. As the power differential between mentor and mentee has diminished, a really meaningful friendship is growing, and strengthening you in your other relationships.
I’m astonished whenever I stop to notice that during this season of life when I imagined that I would have more time for friendship, I simply don’t make time to reach out.
And I just finished reading Luci Shaw’s new poetry collection Reversing Entropy, which was lyrical and lovely as usual.
Yes, it is surprising to discover that we can get very busy without realizing it during a time when it seems like there would be more space for friendships. Thanks for pointing this out. Also, Luci is the bomb! :)
That sounds like a book I would enjoy. Thanks for the recommendation, Michele
I enjoyed your articles. I think men find it much more difficult to foster both old and new friendships. We do have to nurture our friendships and there is generally one that takes the lead in reaching out and touching base more than the other.
I live alone with my dog in the woods in Alaska. I’m about 25 miles from a small town and as an introvert I like that I don’t see a lot of people. For most of the winter I was only going into town on Sundays to go to my very small church and do a little shopping. I have a group of friends in Anchorage who meet for lunch and prayer weekly and I often join them by zoom. I have three other friends who I talk to frequently, a least one person every day, so I thought I had plenty of community.
A couple of months ago I was invited to attend a Bible study in town. I had a whole handful of excuses ready, but God was clear that this was something from him - a gift for me. I am enjoying it so much! They are a wonderful group of women, prayerful and concerned about our community, but never a word of gossip. The Bible study is digging into the attributes of God - no fluff, which I have very little patience for. They welcome differing opinions and open discussion. This has been such a blessing that I didn’t know I needed and didn’t think I wanted.
Your life sounds so interesting. You are probably enjoying lots and lots of sunlight and LONG days at this time of year.
I commend you for choosing to take a step and join that Bible study. So glad you're enjoying it and finding blessing in a thing you didn't know you needed and didn't think you wanted. What a good surprise!
The people in my life right now are all over the world. So it is not often we see each other and I do long for someone close by that I can have a cup of coffee with. But it is a season of leaning in and on the Lord more and more. He does fill me and also will send an encouraging note,email or phone call from a dear friend when I REALLY need one.
There is a gift in those connections that endure despite time and place, and for the constancy of the Lord's presence anywhere we are. Embodied ongoing relationships - someone with whom to share a cup of coffee - offer us a different kind of support in our lives.
The churches I have always attended (and even been on staff for) are very conservative, but aren't real friendly to our current life situation--both of our adult kids are transgender. The church folk aren't quite sure what to do with us now, since we have decided to use the kid's new names and genders and love and support them openly. So, even after things started back full swing after the COVID lockdowns, church-related small groups didn't work for us. The churches themselves didn't really work for us, in fact.
And now, we are leaving all we've ever known to become global nomads, so unless we find some online group, we won't really be part of anything consistent. We do miss that, but don't really see a solution. We try to meet people and form little bits of community wherever we go, but it is always temporary.
I'm so sorry for what your family has experienced from your church. And while you're launching out on a very big adventure, I'm glad your kids will be waiting for you when you return. Sending a hug.
Receiving that hug. Thanks. 💜
This is good and needed and helpful! Thanks for giiving courage and hope to many.